Feeling a little lonely? Amanda tells us why discovering your community is so essential for your wellbeing
The concept of ‘tribes’ is not a new one; it is in fact deep rooted in human history. Our ancestors shared land and traditions for many generations before us. But a ‘tribe’ in today’s society can be found in very different forms. If you’ve ever felt alone in your beliefs or ways, if you’ve wanted to switch up your diet or lifestyle, change your career altogether, your relationship status or even gender, then finding your ‘people’ is an extremely empowering tool.
A tribe can help you feel more connected, inspired, and motivated – not just to maintain or experiment with your wellness habits, but also when it comes to your career and relationships. Recently, it’s been documented that it’s much easier to stick to your goals if you have someone doing it with you. I call people that belong in your tribe ‘zappers’ – those who zap you with positivity. The opposite are ‘sappers’; those who sap and drain good energy. Happiness is just as contagious as negativity, so make an effort to spread as much as you can!
Set some goals that involve replacing the ‘sappers’ in your life with ‘zappers’ and join clubs and classes who will attract like-minded people interested in looking forward rather than backwards. If you already have great friends who lift you up, then set goals to see them more often or change up the things you do together. Better still, include them in your goal setting as it is easier to buddy up and also adds a layer of accountability.
I personally made a point of cutting out people that didn’t bring anything to the table emotionally. Removing these ‘sappers’ was a huge turning point in allowing myself to breathe and realising that my own mental health and personal space was more important than that of those around me. For example, my husband is a huge support in my life; he not only lifts me up when I am down, but more importantly, he keeps me lifted when I am up! He also stops me as soon as he hears me moan and complain. His no-nonsense approach has really changed how I act and think. Surround yourself with those who will tell you how it is, and not what you want to hear.
My parents are also very supportive, always full of pride and yet, will let me know if I am being a pain. Even though I only have a small tribe of friends, they are all close to me and love me for Amanda the person, not Amanda the TV host. None of them care about what I do for a living, unless I bring it up in conversation and there is cause to talk about it. Real issues get discussed, including kids, mortgages, bills and family arguments, rather than TV ratings, body image and social media likes or dislikes.
Here are my top ways to create your own tribe:
1. Look for local gatherings focused on topics you’re interested in – this could be anything from wellness and nutrition, to mothers’groups and women in business.
2. Why not start a group? Begin with friends and family and put up fliers or social media adverts seeking those who share your wellness and life passions.
3. Become a regular where your tribe hangs out. The chances are, there’s somewhere in your area where like-minded, wellness-loving people are already coming together, so check it out! Consistency is key, so once you find a place you like, make it a part of your schedule.
4. In-person connections create stronger bonds, but online tribes can be great, too! Find a digital wellness programme that has a community element so you can connect with others on a consistent basis, or check out Facebook groups focused on topics that interest you.
No matter how you find your tribe, make sure to stay committed to it and keep connected by using social media to share ideas and thoughts between gatherings. Consistency is key; you won’t get the deeper feeling of connection if you chop and change groups, so find or create one you like and stick with it. Whether your wellness tribe are people you know, or people you seek out, make sure you can let your hair down and just be yourself, and know that you can share your personal passions, your struggles, or your vision for the future without judgement.
